"Little bunny Fufu, hopping through the forest, he hopped into a clearing and a hunter blew him away!" - Someone on the "Misanthropic Bitch" website (to get there, go to Seth Triggs' links page) Mystery Sailor Moon Theater 3000 Episode 106 NEPHRITE'S DOWNFALL: "That's What A Tail is Good For" by GreyJedi WHO-OA, HERE IT COMES. IT'S A DIS-CLAIMER: All Sailor Moon characters used herein are the property of Takeuchi Naoko. All Ranma characters belong to Takahashi Rumiko. I am using them without permission, but not for profit. Tuxedo Jack belongs to me. The _sick_ lemon riffed herein belongs to GreyJedi, and believe me, I wouldn't claim ownership with a ten-foot pole. MST3K belongs to Best Brains, and this serves as my disclaimer for the previous fics where I neglected to mention Best Brains in my disclamers. I beg pardon, and ask that they not sue me. I am making no profit from this, nor would I _want_ to. My MSTs are free to the public as a public service! Don't sue me, I have no money, and besides, I just got my Master's degree in business law. Apparently, Tuxedo Alex says that I took the TTPOTS idea from him, and I apologize for that. I merely piggybacked off it and improved it. Again, sorry Alex. I mean no offense. ***SPECIAL WARNING*** THIS FIC AND THE RIFFING THEREIN CONTAINS SUBSTANTIAL HENTAI PORTIONS. IF YOU RE UNDER 18, OFFENDED BY SUCH CONTENT, OR HAVE A WEAK STOMACH, PROCEED NO FURTHER. DO NO PASS GO, DO NOT COLLECT $200. I CAN'T STOP YOU, BUT I CAN WARN YOU. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. On a scale of one to ten, ten being an Oscarfic/Hachi Machi fic and one being "An Interesting Twist": Five. This fic has lesbians, sword handle penetration, and tail sex, which is basically one tentacle. Tread lightly. Murphy's Law states that if something can go wrong, it will. Boy, did it apply here... ********************************************************** In the not-too-distant future, Somewhere deep in hell, I think, Queen Beryl and the Generals are Hatching plans that really stink! They caught a bishounen named Tuxedo Jack Just an average guy who likes to wear black Their moronic plans needed a good test case So Malachite whacked him in the head and Then they shot him into space! (Jack: OH, (BLEEEEEEEEEEP)!!!!!!!!!!!!) (Nephrite) We'll send him crappy fanfics, The most there can possibly be, (la la la) (Zoisite) He'll have to sit and read them all (Malachite) And keep his GPA above three! (la la la) (Beryl) Now, poor Tuxy boy, he can't control When the fanfics begin or end, (la la la) He'll lose his relative sanity With the Senshi I caught with him! SENSHI ROLL CALL! Setsuna! (Small Lady's lost it again...) Hotaru! (I'm the god, I'M THE GOD!!!) Teenage Rini! (I'M NOT FLAT! I'M NOT FLAT!!!!!) Amy! (Fetch me my tranquilizer rifle, minna.) If you're wondering how they eat and breathe, And other science facts, (la la la) Just repeat to yourself, "Ask Amy later, Now I need to sit back and relax!" For Mystery Sailor Moon Theater 3000! *Twang* ********************************************************** (Scene: Bridge of SOS. Rini is setting up a radio broadcaster's booth.) RINI: Hi, everybody, and welcome to the Satellite of Senshi. I'm currently working on a little project to wake up everyone on Wednesdays so Beryl won't send us worse fics... Oh, this is going to be good. Let's see... *fiddles with some circuitry* There. It's hooked into the comm system. Now I can get those irokegane hentais. *Evil laugh* (New Scene: Jack's bedroom. He's lying in bed next to Hotaru. Both are quite clearly naked. Hotaru has most of the sheets around her and a deep depression in the bed under her.) JACK: *Stirs and stretches arms. He then turns to Hotaru and gives her a quick peck on the cheek* Morning, honey. HOTARU: *Keeps her eyes shut* Mmmmm... *Snuggles closer to Jack* JACK: *Face turns bright red, and is clearly holding back a nosebleed* I take it you liked? HOTARU: *Kisses him, still with eyes closed* I liked indeed. JACK: Where are those beautiful eyes, dear? Hidden for all time? HOTARU: No, just until you kiss me. JACK: Then open them. *Kisses her again, and Hotaru opens her eyes.* Ah... now that's beautiful. *Catches a glimpse of his watch on the black marble nightstand* Crap! It's eight! I've got to go to work! *Leaps out of bed and takes a quick shower* Hotaru, honey, be back in a few hours. I've got to deal with an evil queen. HOTARU: Going to see Misato? *grin* JACK: No, Beryl. But that was a very funny joke. *Kisses her* See you later. *Exits* HOTARU: Hmmm... I wonder what he's got for breakfast? (Bridge. Rini is standing in her booth, flipping various switches.) RINI: Ranma's room... Kodachi's room... Puu's room... Amy's room... _JACK's_ room... Hotaru's room... yep, that's all of them. This should be fun! (Jack enters, naked) JACK: Rini! What in the Saturnian hells _is_ that? RINI: (Not looking at him) It's a radio broadcaster. I've rigged it to go through the comm system here... better take your room off the list, since you're here... *Looks at Jack* AIEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!! HENTAIIII!!!!!!!!!!!! *THWAP THWAP WA-TAK THWAP WHACK BONK CRUNCH IMMOLATE AXPHYXIATE STRANGLE THWAP CRUNCH BONK THWAP WA-TAK!!!!!!!!!!* JACK: *Virtual pancake* What'd I do? *Reinflates and sees self* Ooh... that'll do it. *Whips out jeweled rose* Tuxedo Jewel Power! *Transforms to Tuxedo Jack* Better? RINI: A little... *Stows away mallet* I'm still scarred for life. JACK: Does it look like I care? *grins* Then get on with the broadcast. Beryl's going to call at eight-thirty. RINI: All righty then... *flips master switch* GOOOOOOOOOOOD MORNING, VIETNAM! Welcome to another Fic Day on the Satellite of Senshi! Today's riffer schedule is: Jack, Kodachi, Amy, and Rini! *Doubletake* RINI??? NANI??? JACK: (Nelson Muntz) Ha ha! RINI: Baka! Shut up! JACK: Misato and Shinji are calling. *Smirks and hits the button* (NegaCave) BERYL: Yes, well, NERV may be on your list soon. NEPHRITE: What's your invention today, Useless characters? (SOS) JACK: We've got a modification on one of Joel's inventions. Remember the Cartuner? (NegaCave) (All nod) (SOS) JACK: Well, this gizmo, the TV-Tuner, combines two or more TV shows into one good program. Rini, if you would... RINI: Righty-ho. *Picks up two cassettes* In my left hand, we've got an episode of CardCaptors, and in the other, a tape of DiC dubbed Sailor Moon. Mix them together... *drops both tapes into TV-Tuner and presses "on" button. Several grinding sounds are heard, and the machine spits out a new tape, labeled "Ah! Moonami-Sama!"* And here's the product! *Holds it out, and Beryl zaps it to her* (NegaCave) BERYL: Nice. Anyway, we've got a sick little fic for you this week called "That's What a Tail's Good For". Oh, yeah - it's rated NC-17. Enjoy! NEPHRITE: *Presses the button* (SOS) JACK: SHIT!!!!! RINI: Watch your mouth, 'cause we've got LEMON SIIIIIIGN!!!!!! (Door Sequence) Door 6: Standard-issue satellite dogbone door. Door 5: The legs door from Patch Adams. They part, and you pass through. Door 4: The door to the Duke Nukem porno bookstore in level 1-2. It rotates and you pass through. Door 3: A string bikini on a hanger. You duck through it and continue on. Door 2: A roomful of assorted cans of whipped cream and bottles of syrup. You pass through after grabbing some Hershey's Chocolate Syrup and a gallon bottle of milk. Door 1: It's the Fourth Wall. Jack says something bitter and cruel about the MSTer and it shatters, letting you in. (Scene: Theater. Seating order from left to right: Amy, Jack, Kodachi, Rini. Jack is holding a few paper bags, and Kodachi has four bottles of "Pepto- Bismol". Amy and Rini both have bags of snacks.) JACK: Well, this sucks. A lemon as our sixth fic. KODACHI: Well, at least we can make all the hentai riffs we want... *Notices Rini glaring at her* Right? RINI: Oh, what the hell. Amy's not a hentai, though, so - AMY: Erm... no bets, Rini. RINI: *Mutters something unprintable* >From: "GreyJedi" JACK: Yeah, I'm getting gray hairs from this. RINI: But gray hair looks good on you! JACK: Rini, you're _interested_? RINI: (Flustered) NO! >Subject: [Ruin Explorers][Lemon] That's What a Tail's Good For JACK: Oh. My. God. AMY: Not a Ruin Explorers lemon... RINI: No! Not Fam! KODACHI: Hrm... tail penetration? Sounds kinky... *WA-TAK!!!* JACK: Don't even mention poor Fam. Being in this is punishment enough. >WARNINGS: AMY: *Imitates alarm* KODACHI: We've got a core meltdown here!!! >Lemon Warning: This is a Lemon. RINI: So squeeze it and make lemonade. *Jack and Kodachi snicker, and she realizes what she said* Oh SICK!!!!! KODACHI: I thought that it was white... > yep, another anime based sex text. It >contains scenes of gratuitous sex. AMY: And gratuitous use of the word "gratuitous". >Therefore if you are not 18 years of >age or older you shouldn't read this... but hey, who am I kidding I >know you will... not like anyone can really stop you, eh? Besides >Americans are the most paranoid people about sex anyway... RINI, KODACHI, AND AMY: Well, we're Japanese, so SHUT UP!!! JACK: Hey, I'm not sexually paranoid... RINI: SHOVE IT!!! JACK: Someone get the fire entinguisher... I think she's going to explode. >Plot Warning: There is no real plot, no deeper point to the story, no >deep inspection of characters or their motives. KODACHI: Damn straight! JACK: Crap. A little character information about Ihrie would have been great. I like her better than Fam. KODACHI: Fam's cuter, though. JACK: Oh, no contest. Ihrie just has an older soul, and I'm attracted to old souls in young women. >If you want that RINI: Hold a gun to the author's head and demand a rewrite. >read >a fanfiction thats trying to that. >Author Warning: This is this authors first attempt at a lemon. AMY: A virgin author, huh? KODACHI: If this is all he can get, I'm not surprised. >If the grammar sux or something's horribly wrong, please tell me but >do not evilly flame me. C&C welcome. JACK: I've got the comments! *Holds up a box of bombs* RINI: I've got the criticism! *Holds up a BIG-ASS laser gun* KODACHI: Hell, give the author a break. We'll get him later. >CREDITS: AMY: Hey, the fic's skipped to the end! (All cheer wildly) >The original characters property of Kunihiko Tanaka, Hobby Japan / >Bandai Visual, Nippon Columbia, MOVIC. North American release by ADVFilms. RINI: It can't be over... did they thread the projector wrong? >Time period: After the end of the OVA (I'm assuming it was an OVA >cause it seems pretty finished after 2 tapes... and there were no >previews or adds by ADV for anymore...) ALL: SHIT! MAGIC VOICE: Language, language! Watch it, or I'll make Beryl send you "Fit to be Tied". ALL: *Shut up fast* >Now for the story... >------------------------Ruin Explorer's-------------------------------- AMY: (bellowing) IN MORSE CODE SOUND!!!! JACK: Hey, I think I can translate... *squints* This fic sucks, you don't have to read it, leave the theater now. *All get up to leave* BERYL: I'm getting sick of this gag. *Zaps them all into the seat* JACK: (angrily, bellowing) (BLEEEEEP) YOU, BERYL, YOU (BLEEP)ING SORRY-ASS PIECE OF (BLEEP)ING (BLEEP)!!!!!! *A lightning bolt fries him* (normal) Ow... >[I haven't seen many, make that ANY, fanfics on this anime... why? >It was pretty good.] KODACHI: Yeah, Ruin Explorers was one of the better OAVs out there... JACK: Shall we have a moment of silence for their ruined reputation? (All are quiet) KODACHI: How long has it been? JACK: *Looks at watch* Six seconds. KODACHI: That's long enough. >"That's What a Tail's Good For." (Just to piss off Gaijin) AMY: Hey, Gaijin, are you pissed yet? GAIJIN: (Over P.A.) Hell yeah! AMY: Well, the author did it. He pissed off Gaijin. > It was a starry night with a full moon. Long silver rays cast >a peaceful mood upon the land. A warm breeze rustled a few leaves and >swayed the tops of the trees slightly. A small campfire flickered in >the middle of a grove. KODACHI: So it's a Thinkerfic? AMY: Not quite... but the setting is familiar. JACK: *Flips through catalog* Let's see... Lemon setting six hundred and twenty-seven. > Two figures lay asleep by the fire. Or at least it appeared >that they were asleep. JACK: For they were... DEAD!!!!! RINI: (Singing) With their heads bashed in and their hearts cut out, and their livers removed and their bowels unplugged, and their nostrils raped and their bottoms burned off, and their pen.... (Normal) Whoa... Oscar territory there. JACK: That was _so_ wrong. > "Mmmmm... Lyle... Oh! Mmmm..." RINI: (Fam) That was a great dinner, Lyle! Got any more potatoes? > One was trying to sleep. The other was, well... enjoying a >bit of self-stimulation. A sudden cry and the impact of a body on the >hard ground gave the sign of the girl's release. AMY: So the author's claiming that Fam gets off by skydiving? JACK: Hell, I wonder what Rasha does. > The other turned >away from the fire and covered her ears. KODACHI: (Ihrie) Stop playing the Hanson, Fam! ALL BUT KODACHI: *Scream* NO HANSON! > Ihrie thought to >herself, Her thoughts were >disturbed by the sound of her sword being taken. AMY: Oh, my God. You don't think... JACK: Not even GreyJedi could be so sick... > well, that's ok I guess... as long as she cleans it off this time.> JACK AND AMY: EEEEWWW!!!!! JACK: That is _so_ wrong! AMY: First of all, Fam doesn't masturbate; secondly, there's no way in _hell_ she'd ever use a sword, and thirdly, she'd never, _never_ masturbate if Ihrie was anywhere near her. JACK: She does keep things private, you know. > Fam slowly drew the sword's butt across her womanhood's puffy >outer lips. She let out a small groan. After a bit more rubbing she >opened herself up and began to slowly slide the swords handle in inch >by inch. KODACHI: (Fam) Whoops, wrong end! *Makes sword cutting noises* > Fam thought >to herself. Once she had buried the handle up to the hilt she began >thrusting on it. Each thrust creating a soft squishing sound. RINI: (Is green, looks like she's going to vomit) *Dives behind a seat* Tell me when it's over. *Vomits into barf bag* JACK: Poor kid. KODACHI: She'll learn to deal with it one day. > Ihrie could hear every moan and gasp. She could see her sword >being shoved in and out of her partner's warm wet hole. AMY: Oh, thank the kamis! It's just in her mouth! RINI: *Hops up from behind the seat* Really? *Sees the screen* Urp... *Drops behind the seat and vomits again* AMY: *Snickers* >Unconsciously >her own hand sank to her mound and began to rub it rhythmically back >and forth. After several minutes of rubbing she inserted one finger >and began to slowly pump it. ALL: *Burst out laughing* JACK: *Wiping tears from his eyes* Fam never masturbating, I can believe that. Ihrie, though... yeah, right. > Fam's thrusting began to speed up as she approached the >wonderful brink of pleasure and pain. Her tail crept up her side and >began to swirl around the hard nubs of her nipples. bet Lyle would have liked it...> "Mmmmm... OH! Yes... mmmm..." KODACHI: (Fam) Those potatoes are _so_ good!!! Can I have some more? AMY: Double entendre, anybody? JACK: THAT'S SICK!!!!! >The >added stimulus of her tail caressing her breasts made her control >even weaker. Two thrusts later she exploded, KODACHI: And pieces of her body flew everywhere, ripping through the glade and disemboweling Ihrie. JACK: (TV News announcer) Newsflash! Mercenary explodes in glade; details at eleven. >her juices flooding AMY: (Hick) Mah Gawd! Get the raft, Maw! Th' Fam River's a-floodin'! >over the sword's handle. Her eyes were skewed RINI: (Weakly) And served as shish kebabs. Is it over yet? JACK: (To all but Rini) Should I I tell her honestly or let her deal with it. AMY AND KODACHI: Honest. JACK: (To Rini) No. Fam just orgasmed, and there's no end in sight. RINI: Crap. *Ducks back behind seats* JACK: Wimp. >shut. > She opened her eyes to see a very naked Ihrie standing over >her. KODACHI: (Very naked Ihrie) The hell were you doing with my SWORD?!?! AMY: (Fam) Erm... Well... KODACHI: (Very Naked Ihrie) NO ONE messes with MY SWORD!!! *Fakes pounding on Amy* > "Umm, Ihrie it wasn't... I wasn't... umm..." she stammered out. JACK: As the truck came out of nowhere and crushed them both. The end. >Ihrie said nothing as she knelt down and began to stroke Fam's breast. >"Mmm... that feels good Ihrie..." Fam said as she reached for her >partner's breast. They sat together just softly rubbing and stroking >each others body for several minutes. JACK: What the hell. Want a back rub, Amy-chan? AMY: Sure. *Jack moves to a seat behind Amy and begins to rub her shoulders. Amy closes her eyes and enjoys the sensation.* > Ihrie stopped Fam's ministrations and pushed her on her back. JACK: (Ihrie) What the HELL are you doing?!?!? Quit it!!! *Keeps rubbing Amy's shoulders* AMY: Jack, could you rub a little harder? *Jack rubs harder* Ummmm.... >She put her knees by Fam's head and pressed her face into Fam's >crotch. She began to lick the sweet juices that leaked out of Fam's >prize. KODACHI: (Rod Rodney from "The Price is Right") Congratulations, Fam... you've won a new car! JACK: Eeeew!!! She's drinking gasoline! >"Tasty." She began to lick slowly over the slit and was >rewarded with Fam's hips jumping off the ground. RINI: (Richard Simmons) Jump! Jump, hips, jump! KODACHI: That's just sick. > "That feels sooo good Ihrie." Fam began to realize that >Ihrie had positioned her body so that she could receive the same >ministrations that she was giving out. Fam tentatively raised her >head and sniffed. AMY: (Fam) Eeeeew! Ihrie, you farted! *Moans in pleasure* JACK: That's just sick, Amy-chan. *Still rubs Amy's shoulders* >It was a powerful and erotic smell. She then licked >right across Ihrie's slit and bulb. Ihrie's hips twitched. RINI: (normal) I'm feeling a bit better. *Hops back into her seat* Then again... JACK: Come on, Rini. You're probably going to have to deal with worse later on. RINI: NO! *Jumps behind seat* JACK: I'll give you a shoulder massage... AMY: That's true. They're really good. RINI: Okay! *Jumps into her seat. Jack moves behind her and begins to rub her shoulders. She moans in pleasure.* > tastes pretty good...> KODACHI: She _likes_ drinking gasoline? Oh, man... something's f(BLEEP)ed up with her. MAGIC VOICE: Dachi, remember the worst fic you ever heard of? KODACHI: Yeah... MAGIC VOICE: Stop or I'll write you into a worse one. KODACHI: *Shuts up* >Feeling adventurous Fam spread Ihrie's petals >and began to lick the insides of them... each lick brought forth a >slight increase in the juices that were running out of Ihrie. AMY: (Hick) Maw! Maw! Get the younguns in the raft! The Ihrie's flooding too! > Ihrie began to insert fingers into Fam RINI: Stir until boiling, serves two. >at the same time Fam >began to tongue fuck Ihrie. ALL: *Sit in stunned silence* JACK: Well, that's the first time that a fic we've riffed has used anything stronger than "damn". RINI: Well, shit. KODACHI: Bugger this. AMY: (BLEEP) this shit. ALL: AMY? NANI?!? MAGIC VOICE: That's it! Next time, you're reading three fics instead of one! ALL: SHIT!!! > Both of them quickly reached their climaxes. KODACHI: We've climbed Mount Everest and stabbed our flags into the peak! JACK: *still rubbing Rini's shoulders* Kodachi, are you using symbolism? KODACHI: *Snicker* Well, duh. >After the sensation subsides they both sit up and look at each other. JACK: (Baby Plucky) I wanna do it again! *Massages Rini's shoulders harder* AMY: *Dirty giggle* >"That was good Ihrie." RINI: Fam, not-so-bright mistress of the obvious. > "I enjoyed it too Fam... it was better than constantly >listening to you masturbate." > Fam blushes. "I didn't know you heard me." KODACHI: (Ihrie) Well, your voice sounds like Cyndi Lauper... AMY: (Ihrie) And then the screams... > "How could I not, you have a very high voice. It awakens me >even if I'm asleep." RINI: (Lum) Dar-ling! I just had a lesbian affair! > "I'm sorry." Fam leans over and tightly hugs Ihrie, >causing JACK: Their bodies to collapse and die of punctured lungs. The end. >their breasts to squish together. Fam feels her nipples harden >against Ihrie as she feels Ihrie's harden against her. AMY: Ihrie's what? Ihrie's WHAT??? JACK: If they don't tell you, you probably don't want to know. >"You wanna do >it again, Ihrie?" KODACHI: (Baby Plucky) Ihrie and Fam do it again!!! AMY: That is _so_ sick. > "Something different this time. Hey, what can you do with >your tail?" RINI: *Moan of pleasure* Strangle you. Why? >"I can move it around and feel things with it." JACK: Oh, shit... bad mental image... > Ihrie gets a very lecherous grin. "Why don't you get me off >with your tail, then I'll eat you out again?" JACK: NOOOO!!!! NOT TENTACLE SEX!!!! NOOOOOOOOO!!!! *Head explodes, flinging "Reese's Pieces" everywhere. His hands still massage Rini's shoulders, though. After a few seconds, his head reassembles.* RINI: Wow! Reese's Pieces! > "My tail?" KODACHI: (Ihrie) No, your ass. DUH! > "Yes, That's what a tail's good for..." The rest of the night >would past quickly for the two partners. JACK: And hopefully, for us, too... >[FIN] ALL: THANK THE KAMIS! >Well that's my first Lemon ever... hope it was good. Thank you for >reading. ALL: GO TO HELL. >GreyJedi. JACK: Brother to WhiteJedi, uncle to OrangeJedi, and son of BlackJedi. >Any comments can be sent to me at >Greyjedi@technologist.com RINI: Someone get this down. We'll blow up his mailbox. >Flames will be laughed at, forwarded to friends to laugh at, then >forgotten about. >C&C welcome. JACK: (Furious) What? He'll FORGET flames?!?!? That's it! *Disengages his hands from Rini's shoulders and whips out a diamond sword from nowhere* Eat this! TUXEDO FLARE! *The sword fires orange orbs which rip apart half the screen.* RINI: WHOA! AMY: Do _not_ get in his way. >MST3K is welcome [ ] MST3K's, >please. >Critic: GJ my friend [ ] GJ for >always prereading them. KODACHI: One more person to kill later... >visit my webpage [ ] RINI: The hell? JACK: (Normal) Must have been an address. Let's get outta here. (All exit) (SOS Bridge. Kodachi and Amy are sitting on the newly installed crushed-leather couch. Jack and Rini are on a small sofa, obviously a love seat. Rini is oblivious to the type of the sofa it is, because she is sucking on her thumb in fear and lying in Jack's arms as he holds her tight and keeps muttering soothing sayings to her.) AMY: That was one godawful fic. KODACHI: We'll have to kill GreyJedi for this. JACK: If we ever get offa here... Amy, remember the TTPOTS? AMY: *Grin* Do I ever! JACK: Think we can modify it? AMY: But we can't get off the satellite... JACK: We're going to do something else with it... bring two people onto the satellite. AMY: Hmm... KODACHI: What do you mean? JACK: We're going to get Beryl for this... make her read what she sent us... *Button Flashes* KODACHI: Ignore her - maybe she'll go away. (NegaCave) BERYL: Ignore me, will they! Malachite! Push the button! MALACHITE: Yes, my queen. *Pushes button* (FWOOSH) \ | / \ | / \ | / ------0------ / | \ / | \ / | \ (Fade to black) AUTHOR'S NOTES This was without a doubt one of the WORST lemons I've ever read outside of Hachi Machi or Oscar. Shinji's definitely going to put this in the lemons section. GreyJedi, how could you? Ruin Explorers was GOOD! And besides, I had a crush on Ihrie's character... and set about programming it into my Mac. Well, anyway, this is over with. We will be getting two new riffers from the past to come riff new fics in Season 2. There will be new villains, new settings, new fics... maybe even a new Satellite in the past. If you've seen Sailor Moon's season 2, you might have a small hunch as to what I'm doing - but you're wrong. Just get "Carry On" as a companion MP3 to the Season 1 finale... Also, until I finish the AcAnime Fanfic Awards, they will not riff them. Besides, I lined up three short fics for episode 107. They are very, _VERY_, bad - "Pen Pen's Reign of Terror", "Uuber-Geek", and "A Winter's Day", the last of which is a Tenchi semi-lemon. Do _not_ ask why I released Episode 106 before 105. I'll tell you: I did 106 on my palmtop, and 105 on my 1 GHz Athlon at home. Naturally, I have less access to the Athlon... Ja ne and mail me as to whom you want to riff! Guest appearances _will_ occur! Tuxedo Jack TuxedoJack@juno.com Mystery Sailor Moon Theater 3000 Season One Episode 101 - Seinfeld Meets Sailor Moon (Released 7/17/00) Episode 102 - PokeSailors (Released 7/20/00) Episode 103 - Sailor Moon: Redux (Released: 7/22/00) Episode 104 - Whimsical Sailor Street (Released 8/15/00) Episode 105 - Blaine's Crono Trigger Fic Parts 1 through 3 (Estimated Release Date: 8/29/00) Episode 106 - That's What A Tail is Good For (Released 8/22/00) (LEMON: Fam and Ihrie) Episode 107 - Three Shorts from the Underwear Drawer(ERD: 9/30/00) Episode 108 - Kasumi the Biker Slut (Yes, you read that right.) (ERD: 10/15/00) Episode 109 - Fit To Be Tied (NOTE: Hell, this is without a doubt the worst lemon I've seen outside of an Oscarfic. There's yaoi with Rei, three men on Minako, two women on Makoto - the official "Dildo Policewoman" for the fic -, Ami-chan with a woman, and Usagi with relatively normal straight sex. Well, there is a _little_ bondage, but... Out of one to ten: 9.)` Season 2 Episode 201 - Asuka's Got A Gun (ERD: 10/22/00) Episode 202 - Shot NERVs (ERD: 10/29/00) Episode 203 - Attack of the Beer Cans (ERD: 11/5/00) Episode 204 - Sailor Moon: Weirdness (ERD: 11/20/00) Episode 205 - AcAnime Fanfic Awards (ERD: 12/15/00) Episode 206 - Dimension of Love (ERD: 12/25/00) (LEMON: Tenchi... and Sasami) Episode 207 - An Eating Guide to the Silver Millenium (ERD: 1/31/00) Episode 208 - Akane's Wooden Mallet (A songfic) (ERD: 2/15/00)