To make an Angel fall Episode 27: A Hopeful Reality Written by Mick T Budarrap Disclaimer: NGE and its characters are the property of Gainax. Minors are not permitted to read this parody. None of the actions depicted here in text are promoted or condoned. This story was made possible by Gainax's treatment of the NGE characters in End of Evangelion. Rei Ayanami looked down into her glass of cola. "You know what I mean." "Yeah," said Asuka. The two girls were silent, thinking. They had a lot to think about. The day before everything had been hopeless. Seele had held them in their grip, controlling them, controlling their every move. It had been horrible, but mixed with the mad pleasure that only an AT field can bring. And what was worse were the fantasies that Seele placed them in. Using the mass production evangelions they had indulged themselves in the girls, using them as the vessels in which their fantasies could be lived out. It was over - or was it? "I mean, we could still be...you know." Rei sipped some cola. "One day they might just spring out on us as go 'Boo!' and we'll end up back with them." "Only if this is a fake world," said Asuka. "I don't think it is." Both girls wore casual clothes, shirt and short shorts. The regime of constant nudity in the Katsuragi household had ended with the MP evangelions. "What makes you so sure?" asked Rei. "Simple. Rules of the pervert." Asuka stood up, turning slowly on the spot, and took a deep breath. "Here goes," the redhead breathed, careful and cautious. She spoke. "Those perverts will never, ever, be able to see me naked. They'll never be able to feel me up. They'll never put their disgusting THINGS inside me." Rei watched, her eyes wide. "Asuka, are you sure this is wise?" "Quiet." Asuka took another breath, her blue eyes still a little worried. "Never again. Those old perverts didn't deserve me anyway. After all, no one does! Not a single man on the surface of this disgusting little planet! Those twelve jerks were so far down the list you'd need a telescope to see them!!" "Asuka!" said Rei, now very scared, "If you say that they might-" "Shut up!" Asuka knew how perverts worked. If a snooty red-head challanged a pervert then he had to respond, usually leaving her naked and humiliated. She just needed to push them far enough. "My slender, perfect body, and I AM perfect by the way, is WAY too good for those old farts. And they will never touch it again. Never, ever, ever. They'll never touch my...my boobies, or my legs, or my butt, and they'll never see any of me naked. Ever." Asuka looked around, waiting for something to happen. She waited for muscular men to climb out of the walls and grab her, tearing off her clothes. She waited for an invisible monster to pull down her panties. She waited for an angel to rip the ceiling off the apartment and blast her with its AT field, forcing her to cum. None of it happened. The redhead bent over, offering her butt to a nearby wall. "This is one piece of ass you'll never get! Are you hearing me, you perverts? Come one, get out here and get on with it!!!" She wiggled, swaying her hips, making her rear end an inviting target. "What, no guts? Losers! You're all losers!" Rei stammered. "Um, Asuka, maybe you should-" "Not now, I'm on a roll! Come on, pervs, where are you? Don't have what it takes, do you? I thought not! Oh, you're all big and powerful when you've got your evas, but now you're just weak little boys!" "Please, Asuka, listen to me-" Asuka wasn't listening. "Weaklings, weaklings, you're all a bunch of weaklings!" she sang. She turned around, leaning fowards and pressing her breasts together. Her cleavage peaked out of the neck of her shirt. "Come on, remember these tits? You guys like tits, right? Don't you just want to grab those pink nipples and suck them? You do, I know it!" Rei gave up trying to tell Asuka. "Okay, whatever Asuka. Hikari, Touji, Kensuke, good morning." For a moment it didn't connect in Asuka's head. "Come on, they're just waiting for you, two big, sweet teats..." Then she froze. Very, very slowly, she turned to look. Hikari, Touji and Kensuke stood just inside the doorway, staring at Asuka. Horrible shame. Humiliation. Disgust. Self-loathing. It all bubbled up in a wellspring of morbidity. Asuka couldn't take it. Her brain found a way out: blame the pervert. "PERVERT!" she screamed, pointing at Kensuke. She remembered what he had nearly done to her before the last attack, and she seized on it as a chance to shift attention away from herself. "You disgusting pervert, HOW DARE YOU come back into MY home!!!" She flew into Kensuke and knocked him to the ground. Pinning him down, she sat on his chest, her blue eyes ablaze with fury. "I invited him!" said Hikari. That slowed Asuka down. "Why would you do something that STUPID?" "Because of everything! You all have never had a proper introduction, and I thought that since things were calming down..." "I'll NEVER forgive this pervert!" retorted Asuka, bouncing down on Kensuke's chest, knocking the air out of him. "Never, ever, ever!" Touji, who was either not very smart or gunning for his death, wanted to ask Asuka about what she had been doing a second earlier. "Asuka, just what was that you were doing-" "Don't YOU start," Asuka interrupted, "You're nearly as bad as he is! Don't think I've forgiven YOU either!!!" "Asuka, PLEASE!" said Hikari. "What?" "Let's get this behind us." "Only if THEY apologize!" "They were being controlled by a monster!" "Not all the time!" Rei piped up. "Of course, you weren't stopping either, Asuka." "That's entirely different," said Asuka, blushing as she remembered what she had been doing with Touji the moment the 17th angel had been destroyed. It had also been what they had continued to do long after Nagisa's death, regardless of the fact that the angel was no longer controlling them. "I don't care. They have to apologize!" "Okay," said Touji, "I'm sorry!" "I'm sorry too," wheezed Kensuke from beneath Asuka. "That's not good enough!" said Asuka, tossing her hair. "On your knees, for starters." "This is going too far, Asuka," disapproved Hikari. "Not nearly as far as we've had to go, Hikari. Come on boys, on your knees." Asuka got off Kensuke so he could kneel. "Now, show me your hands. I don't want to see any crossed fingers. Now, repeat after me:" Asuka had to think quickly to produce an apology that was sufficiently embarrassing for them. "I, insert name here, hereby apologize with all my heart and soul for actions, no, crimes, heinous crimes I commited against Hikari Horaki, Rei Ayanami, and Asuka Langley Sohryu. Especially Sohryu." She waited until they had repeated it. "I also state catagorically that much of the blame lies on my inferior male brain, clearly incapable of even the level of thought a rat can achieve." She had to kick to get them to repeat that part. Ayanami and Horaki looked on helplessly as Asuka continued to wring the apology out of the two boys. "In addition, I state that I am forever in the debt of these three girls because of the horrible, humiliating things I did to them, and will always be willing to lend them money, give them lifts around the city when they ask for them, and generally bend over backwards in order to compensate for the lame things I have done against them." They repeated it dutifully and fled the apartment. "Well, I hope you're happy Asuka," said Hikari, her hands on her hips. Asuka smiled, her face alight with ecstasy. "Oh GOD, that felt SO GOOD!!!" She slowly sank to her knees, her breathing quick and shallow, her breasts rising and falling fast. "That was so good I can hardly believe it. Oh yeah, that was just..." she got up and began rummaging through the kitchen drawers. "I need a cigarette. Where does Misato keep hers?" Rei didn't believe what she was seeing. "It couldn't have been THAT good." "Oh Rei, dear sweet Rei, you don't know what it means! If this world really IS a fantasy of those twelve sick perverts, do you think they'd EVER allow me to get that sort of satisfaction?" Her logic was beautiful. "They were ON THEIR KNEES!!! Those old guys would have died before they let me get away with that! If this really was their fantasy, then by now I'd be naked, tied up, had a camera close-up and would have had something about twelve inches long stuck up my you-know-what." She lit up and took a drag, and immediately started coughing. Hikari took the cigarette away from Asuka. "I get it, Asuka. It makes sense." Rei understood it as well. "So we're free." "Not yet, Rei," said Asuka. "You and I have something to deal with: a boy called Shinji Ikari. Come with me, I'll explain on the way." After they had left, Hikari let out a sigh. Sohryu had scared off Touji and Kensuke and then run off with Rei. The class rep had so many wonderful plans for the boys and her friends and she knew it was going to be tough going to get them to go along with it. ************************************************************** "Now listen Rei, I'm not going to let Shinji come between us. Under no circumstances will you and I ever, and I MEAN ever, compete over Shinji Ikari. I know you love him as much as I do, but-" "No I don't," corrected Rei. "What?" "I don't love him. I love you. YOU love him." "Oh yeah..." "If anything, Asuka, Shinji and I should be fighting over you." "Okay then. Well, I won't let you." Ayanami's red eyes narrowed. "Why not?" "Because I'm going to have you both, that's why." "No, that isn't fair." "What do you mean, not fair? NONE of this has been fair, Rei, but THIS part is going to be fair on MY TERMS." "You mean unfair, don't you Asuka?" The redhead grinned wickedly. "I've been counting, Rei. Every little injustice that the universe commits against me, I figure that bastard owes me SOMETHING. It's all been adding up. After the angels, Nagisa when he was controlling Touji and Kensuke, those stupid soldiers, the mass production Evangelions, and those goddamn old perverts Seele, I've worked it all out." Sohryu pulled out a calculator and began to tap. "Adding together stripping, groping and penetration, multiplied by the humiliation factor and the number of boys who have seen me naked, doubled for horny old men, plus cumulative interest, I've worked out that the universe owes me a happiness factor of..." She checks. "Six billion, four hundred and seventy sevent million, two thousand, nine-" "I get the point." "No you don't, because my POINT is that that should be MORE than enough to get both of you. I want to be happy, Rei, and I REFUSE to have any half measures about it. I'm not going to choose you over Shinji, and I'm not going to choose Shinji over you. I love you both, and for completely different reasons." "Oh." "Is that all you can say? OH?" "Well, I'm feeling a little like a second choice here." Asuka's blue eyes narrowed. She stepped up Ayanami and, before the albino could respond, planted her lips on Rei's. Sohryu wrapped her arms around the first child as she tried to continue. "Mmmmppph mmmmm, mmm mm mmpphhh mmmmpphhhmmmm. Mmmmmm. Mmmhhhmmmmm." Eventually Rei's protests faded into a low moan of muffled pleasure, and Sohryu disconnected from the kiss. "You are NOT a second choice Rei. But this time I'm going to have it MY way. I'm not going to end up hating myself for rejecting Shinji, OR for rejecting you. I'm going to have you both, PERIOD." Ayanami breathed deeply, recovering from the kiss. When she spoke, her voice was soft, compliant. "I'll do it, Asuka. But on one condition." Asuka's blue eyes narrowed again. "What?" Rei's expression was pure evil. "That we can tie up Shinji." "Deal. Let's go, we've got a teenaged virgin to tie to his bedposts." "Actually, he's not technically a virgin anymore..." Rei whispered in Asuka's ear. "He and I, well, when I was going a little nuts he..." "You WHAT?!??!" Asuka shouted. "It wasn't anything deliberate, it just happened!" Sohryu huffed. "Well, it doesn't count. That clearly didn't last for long and was non-consensual. Shinji is still a virgin in THAT sense at least." "I agree," said Rei, knowing when to avoid an argument with Asuka. "And SOMEONE, some poor girl has the burden of removing Shinji from his state of virginity." "Someone." "Us." "Fine." Rei Ayanami and Asuka Langley Sohryu arrived at the little apartment block that Shinji Ikari had been placed in by Nerv. The redhead and the albino grinned to each other, clasping hands briefly. They had survived the angels, and survived every monster Seele had sent against them. They had endured every ordeal set upon them, and now it was time for them to put someone else through an ordeal. "It's not the happy ending I imagined, Rei," said Asuka. "It's close enough," said Ayanami. That's the end of To Make An Angel Fall. The series has been left open-ended, in case I might go back some time in the future and continue the story. What exactly does Hikari plan for her friends involving Touji and Kensuke? How are Asuka and Rei going to deal with Shinji? What did Gendo mean when he told Rei that Seele would use Shinji against her? Was the angel telling the truth when he said that his brothers could return to Earth and wreak yet more havoc? But all that is going outside the television series of NGE, and the movies. So I'm going to cut it short here and get to work on some other fan fictions. Presently I'm writing Metal Gear Slinky, a parody of Metal Gear Solid where the lead character isn't exactly the gruff, hard-headed hero we remember from the game but is instead a...well, use your imagination. Silky Snake, the most dangerous woman in the world, is an elite infiltration agent pitted against an rogue group of special operations Foxhound, an assembled team combining expertise, firepower and perversion. The story will be a multi-part parody that will follow the PSOne and PC games _fairly_ closely. But not that closely. Signing off, this is Mick T. I hope you enjoyed the story.