"... I think I'm going to be sick..."

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Tuxedo Jack
and Craptacularly Spignificant Productions
present

A Yu-gi-oh! fanfic _guaranteed_ to turn your stomach
or double your money back!

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Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-gi-oh. I don't want to own
it. And I sure as hell don't own the characters portrayed
herein, nor do I own the events.

Special Disclaimer: Seriously, folks, there's some nasty
stuff going down here. It ain't a lemon, but it sure as
hell ain't Disney fare, either. This stuff... *Sigh*
Well, I'm only going to say this. I ain't taking any
responsibility for what happens to you if you read it.

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Kaiba stared down his opponent. _The little worm,_ he
thought. _He's got that Kuribo shield up and I can't get
past it! How can I get through it to him?_

"Fine," he bellowed. "If you think for one minute that
you can get past my Ultimate Dragon, then come on! Do it!
But first..." Kaiba slapped a card onto his duel disc.
"Face the feline grace and speed of my Nekogal!" An
exceedingly stunning catwoman popped up on the field,
tossed her long blonde hair back, and meowed cutely.

Jounoichi felt something stir in his pants.

Anzu smacked him. "Lay off, you. She's just a hologram."

He snorted. "She's still hot."

"And I'm not?"

Jounoichi sweatdropped. "Two totally different beings, Anzu.
Besides, I've got a fetish for catgirls."

Yami snorted. "A Nekogal? Kaiba, I don't know what you're doing,
but that thing... she can't possibly stand up to my monsters."

"You're imagining things, Yugi," Kaiba shot back. "With this
magic card, she can withstand almost anything. I play the magic 
effect card Pheromones!" He slipped a second card into his
reader, and the catgirl suddenly seemed even more attractive.
"Now none of your male monsters can attack, and your Dark Magician
Girl is useless, since she's bisexual! They're all too busy being
attracted to my Nekogal!"

Anzu blinked. "Oh, my, she's certainly stunning."

Jounoichi just drooled.

Kaiba started cackling evilly.

Yugi closed his eyes. "Kaiba, this duel ends now!" He ripped one 
card from his deck, placed it on the reader...

Kaiba smirked. "Whatever you play, it can't possibly defeat my
Nekogal!"

A spray of light erupted from the card, and the one thing that
could defeat Kaiba's uber-sexy, uber-powerful, uber-kawaii
Nekogal emerged - and it spoke.

"Artemis, my love? Where are mine undies?"

Jounoichi gagged, Anzu blinked, and Kaiba facefaulted at 
the sight.

Yugi smirked. "I play the card Oscar Reborn!"

Shortly thereafter, the Nekogal was completely ravaged - in
more ways than one.

The results were as follows:
- Yugi won.
- Kaiba lost, and went into therapy as a result.
- Jounoichi permanently gave up his catgirl fixation.
- Anzu bought herself a pair of cat ears and a fake 
tail for some fun with Yugi and Jounoichi.

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AUTHOR'S NOTES

I couldn't resist. So sue me. ^_^¿

Tuxedo Jack
April 26th, 2003