"Another fanfic?!? What are you smoking?!?!?" - Avanent

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Youma's Paradise
Another crappy songfilk courtesy of Tuxedo Jack
To the tune of "Gangsta's Paradise"

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AS I WALK THROUGH THE VALLEY WHERE I HARVEST MY GRAIN, I TAKE A
LOOK AT MY DISCLAIMER AND REALIZE IT'S VERY PLAIN: This songfic is my
property. Whoever owns "Gangsta's Paradise" owns it, and I make no
claim on it. Hell, I wouldn't touch it with a ten-foot clown pole.
Sailor Moon and all SM-related characters and the SM stuff herein
belongs to Takeuchi Naoko-sama. 

But I ain't never punched a reviewer even if he deserved it...
An author with a 'tude, you know that's unheard of...

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As I walk through the city where I collect energy
I take a look at my life and realize it's crappy
But that's just perfect for a youma like me,
You know I hate those goody-two-shoes like Serenity

At four thirty in the morning, I'm draining gals,
Nephrite romances that Molly and Zoisite tal-
-Lies
The amount of Nega-Energy that we have brought in
It's usually not enough for Beryl's chaos and sin

I'm a youma of the Negaverse, I'm really into darkness
Got a blastsword on one hand and I can make a big mess
And if I drain enough energy, and you drain some more,
Then perhaps that annoying Sailor Moon will knock upon Death's door

Been spending most my life working in a youma's paradise
Attacked the Senshi once or twice livin' in a youma's paradise
I have been bitchslapped thrice livin' in a youma's paradise
We'll sell your soul at half price livin' in a youma's paradise

Sailor Moon kicked my sorry butt last night
I just smiled at her and I really began to fight
I was quite neat, I didn't make a mess,
In fact, I cut a set of holes in the front of her dress!

But I ain't never drained a human if he didn't deserve it,
But a youma with no 'tude, you know that's unheard of
I never fight dirty but I have crushed some skulls,
And my homies agree I really fight like two bulls
Fool
If you come to visit, you be tortured to tears,
We haven't even had our rabies shots in five hundred years
But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare,
We're just conscientiously impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars
Not a single Earthling,
Like any youma's dream,
It's as demonic as can be

Been spending most my life livin' in a youma's paradise
Working for four generals livin' in a youma's paradise
Going to the Nega-Mall which is in a youma's paradise
But I cut off my Nega-balls somewhere in a youma's paradise

Hitchin' up the ol' cape
Draining lots of energy
Jadeite dusted on Monday
Soon there'll be one less me
Think you're really powerful
Think you'll kick some butt
Well, I know that you'll never get past the first cut!

I'm the kickass guy the little youmas wanna be like
On my knees day and night, kissing butt so I won't go fight
So do not bitch, and don't be whiny,
Or else I'm gonna get medieval on your heinie!

Been spending most my life livin' in a youma's paradise
No cure for five-watt lights livin' in a youma's paradise
We all pick lots of fights livin' in a youma's paradise
You'd probably think it bites livin' in a youma's paradise

(Choir solo)

BLECH! *Vomit Sounds*

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AUTHOR'S NOTES

My God, two songfics in one day! Must not have spellchecked (never do),
grammarchecked (likewise), or insanity-checked (can't - I'm too insane
to tell the difference).

I wrote this during my Chemistry period and my following homeroom period,
the latter of which is a useless period which I use to play Quake III
Arena. That, and browse FF.net with a fine-toothed comb.

Anyone who's interested can suggest characters for the MSTing of 
"Pokemon: The Next Pikachu". I'm not using the Satellite of Senshi for
it, as their schedule is overbooked already... I'm leaning towards
Fam (from Ruin Explorers), Ranma (yep, he and Kodachi are leaving the
Satellite), Kodachi, and Bill Clinton. Yes, you read that right. 
Ex-President of the United States William Jefferson Blythe Clinton.
*Bill Clinton enters and whispers something in my ear* No, Bill, I
will _NOT_ let you get 69s from the cast members! Geez! *Clinton leaves*
(Grumbling) Horny freak...

Ja ne!

Tuxedo Jack
Tuxedojack@juno.com

http://www.angelfire.com/gundam/SatelliteSenshi

"No, no, wait, wait, wait!!!! DON'T DO THAT!!!!! NOOOOOO!!!!" - Me