"Sacrifice? Me? Ha!" * * * * * * * * * * Tuxedo Jack - and - Craptacularly Spignificant Productions - present - with apologies to Takeuchi and Akamatsu... Over-Violent Student Double Hail Hina: A Crossover that Should Never Be! Chapter 6.1 * * * * * * * * * * Disclaimer: Hit the back button. I don't have time to type it again. I'm on deadline with this, y'know? * * * * * * * * * * Ending: "And so it has come to pass..." Naru ran. She ran not for herself, but for the one that she thought she loved - but that wasn't in her mind. She wanted her Keitaro back, the perverted bastard who occasionally stumbled in on her in the bath, the one who studied with her for the Todai exams, the one who made her feel kinda warm and fuzzy whenever he was nearby, even after all the times she beat the crap out of him. Someone off in the distance put "Sacrifice -Gisei-" from Tenchi Muyo! on an extremely powerful speaker system, thus fulfilling the mysterious angsty background music requirement. And so she ran. The Keitaro following her snapped his fingers, and mists immediately started to form around Naru, stopping her in her tranks and making her look around. "Keitaro?" Immediately, the Milly SyndromeŠ struck, and Naru put her hand to her mouth. "It's me, Naru-san," the clone's voice said from deep in the mist. "Don't worry about me, I'm here." "That's a relief!" For a second, Naru's relief was palpable. "Where are you?" The clone paused for a second. "I'm over here," he said, drawing her in. Naru moved towards him, and when she found the clone, she smiled. "You big stupid dummy, you baka. What the hell happened to you, anyway?" (5) "Nothing much, really," he muttered. "Can we get out of here? This place isn't exactly the nicest to be right now, and there's something in these woods..." Naru nodded. "I know a nice little place nearby where we should be safe. Come on!" She grabbed the clone's hand and started running. The clone smiled. Everything was going according to his plan. However, when they arrived at a glen that the clone had most definitely _not_ known about, he started to worry, especially since the ground was covered with soft beds of flowers, the flowers in some areas seemed rather pillowy, and there was a noticeable dearth of small animals and such. Naru leapt past the edge of the clearing, and let go of the cloned Keitaro's hand. "Here we go. This place is pretty quiet and nothing should find us back here." The clone started to panic. "Um, Naru-san, shouldn't we be getting back to Hinata-sou? The other girls must be worried sick." Naru grimaced. "Forget them! We're here, together, _alone_. Do you know what that means, Keitaro?" Keitaro-clone sweatdropped. "Um, we're in a Clamp manga or something?" Naru smirked. "Only if this is Hideki's dream in volume 2, section 19 of Chobits." She walked up to him, shedding her orange sweater along the way. "Kei-kun, do you like me?" The clone was literally sweating bullets now. "Um, Naru-chan, you _do_ know you're _really_ out of character here?" * * * * * The author sweatdropped. "Gomen. Manga reference." * * * * * Naru shook her head. "Keitaro, please, kiss me." She advanced towards the clone, who retreated back, which caused her to move on him. "Keitaro, please, just one kiss." The clone whimpered. Naru's eyes were filled with tears. "I knew it." She turned away from the clone and started to walk away. "You really don't care about me, do you? Not the way I do about you, anyway." Keitaro-clone screwed up his courage and walked towards her. "Naru-chan..." With that, he placed his hands on her shoulders, spun her to face him, and silenced her with liberal tongue contact. Solidly. For about thirty seconds. Unsurprisingly, Naru responded. As they broke apart for air, the clone collapsed to the ground, panting, and Naru smiled. "I knew it," she whispered. "Knew what, Naru-chan?" the clone said. "You shouldn't mess with the hearts of others, dammit," Naru said through her tears. She pulled out a sakura blossom... And transformed, nude flash and all, to Tuxedo Ronin. The clone sighed. "Naru-chan, I could be him. I could be the Keitaro you want, the one who goes to Todai with you, the one who loves you, the one who'll hold you in his arms for days." "But you're not, and it's easier to do this," Ronin whispered. "RONIN PUUUUUNCH!" Her fist went straight through the clone's face, and it shattered into nothingness. She shook off her hand, and ran on towards the Dark Storage Shed. "I wonder how the others are doing?" * * * * * The author sighed. "Again, don't bother. You'll find out when I'm damn good and ready to write the rest." He blinked. "Though since I found a 128KB/s copy of 'Oujosama to Oyobi,' that might be a while." * * * * * Tuxedo Ronin found the Dark Storage Shed amidst a sea of evil gardening tools, among which were a bunch of hoes that reared up and started trash-talking her. She blinked, Ronin-Punched them into LEO, and continued into the Shed. * * * * * _KANAKO!_ Kanako started away from her video. Hearing the booming feminine voice of the Formless Black Mass kind of did that, you know? "Yes, mistress?" _Tuxedo Ronin's inside the Shed! You've got to act now!_ Kanako mentally bowed. "I'm on it!" She ran towards Keitaro's room, knocking Kuro out of the way, and turned to the cat. "Keep Tuxedo Ronin busy!" She then dashed into Keitaro's prison and slammed the door behind her. Kuro sweatdropped. "How the hell am I supposed to keep her busy?" * * * * * Inside the room/prison, Keitaro was running away from Kanako. "Not today, Kanako-chan!" "Keitaro-chan, if you don't do this, I swear that I'll make you watch that gaijin show 'Barney and Friends!'" Keitaro shook his head. "Todai Ronin Power, MAKE UP!" This time, his henshin sequence gave a longer and more... stimulated... performance that left Kanako speechless. Of course, he still had on his lace panties at the end, but they did nothing to hide his predicament. * * * * * The author crossed his arms. "Deal with it. You didn't bitch and moan when the real Senshi gave you panty flashes, and I know that a bunch of you watched for the ones that _Chibiusa_ did, you sick bastards, so this is payback on the lot of you." * * * * * Kanako, meanwhile, hadn't wasted a second. She'd violated the laws of anime and tied Keitaro down while he was transforming. "Hey, that's cheating!" Kanako smirked. "I'm the Dark Queen, lover. I can do what I want." She waved her hand, and a mist surrounded Keitaro. He looked around frantically, hoping for some sort of escape, but nothing presented itself - - and then a mist surrounded him, and everything that wasn't within about three feet disappeared, including Kanako. Keitaro looked around, hoping for some sort of escape, when the very last thing he'd expected came out of the mist. Naru. "Keitaro, you pervert! What the hell are you doing?" she said, looking at him from her position above him. "You've got some explaining to do!" Keitaro sighed. "Why me, god..." He turned to Naru. "Look, Naru-san, it's a long story. Can you..." He trailed off as he saw Naru bending over him. "Um, Naru-san? What's going on?" Naru chuckled. "Silly Keitaro. I've come so far to get here, and now that I see you tied down, why should I waste the opportunity?" She climbed on top of him and bent towards his face. "Naru-san..." Keitaro seriously looked like he was going to pass out from a nosebleed. "Oh, don't nosebleed on me, Keitaro," Naru said, reaching for something. "We need to keep that blood for where it's needed, namely here," she said, giving the part in question a good squeeze. Keitaro's nose started to dribble. * * * * * Ronin reached the front door of the shed and ripped it open, only to find Kuro in front of her. She grabbed him by the scruff of his neck and yanked him up to eye level. "WHERE'S SAILOR SENPAI?" Kuro winced. "Relax, miya. I just want out of this hellhole." He jerked a paw towards the back. "He's in there, miya." Tuxedo Ronin dropped Kuro and ran like hell towards the door in the next area. Meanwhile a little flag outside was raised to the tune of some odd blips and bleeps, and six fireworks exploded. (6) Kuro sweatdropped. "That bastard's gonna die for treating me like this." He stalked off. "I'm calling my agent." * * * * * "Naru-san, should we really be doing this?" Keitaro mumbled as Naru manipulated him easily. "Relax, Keitaro," she whispered, kissing him. Keitaro's eyes went wide as he felt the soft pressure of her lips on his... but... There was no white glow. Just then, Ronin burst through the door. "YOU!" Naru turned to face... well, herself. "YOU!" she hissed. Keitaro blinked. "Two of them... well, I'm starkers." He grinned. "Threesome!" Ronin glared daggers at him, and he withered. Naru bent over him again and cut him loose from the silk scarves. "Don't you hurt my Keitaro!" She wrapped her arms around him protectively. "You can't have him!" Ronin fumed. "Let him go!" "No!" Naru bent towards him to kiss him again, and Keitaro let her lips touch his. "Keitaro..." Ronin whispered when she saw Naru's lips touch Keitaro's. A single tear slipped down her cheek... And the image of a chibi-Keitaro and a chibi-Naru playing in the sandbox at Hinata-sou was somehow projected in the air over Ronin. Keitaro's eyes bugged out, and he pulled away from Naru's kiss. "How... that's you... and me... no way!" He leapt off the bed, and ran over to Tuxedo Ronin. "There's no way... I mean, you can't be..." Then he remembered that he was in his form as Sailor Senpai, and he detransformed. Ronin's eyes went wide. "Keitaro? _You're Sailor Senpai?_" Keitaro nodded. "But you're Tuxedo Ronin... Let's see, Shinobu's Shefu, Suu's Mecha, Kitsune's Sake, and Mutsumi's Yakusoku... that leaves..." His eyes grew three sizes larger that day. "Naru?" Ronin nodded and detransformed. "Keitaro, I..." Keitaro shook his head. "Don't worry. I know." He sliped his arm around her waist and turned to face the figure on the bed, who by now had stood and had a palpable battle aura. "Then who's..." "It's me, oniisama!" Kanako dropped the disguise, which had clearly outlived its usefulness. The mist was dispelled a few seconds later, and she appeared in all her righteous anger... and lingerie. * * * * * Off in reality, Kana Himezaki's nose immediately spewed forth a gusher of blood. * * * * * "Oniisama, do you really want _her_? That red-haired cockroach?" Kanako's tone was almost pleading. "You've got me! I've loved you from the day we met!" "Kanako..." Keitaro's eyes were filled with an emotion that she couldn't quite decipher... remorse? Sadness? Love? "Kanako, it's destiny." "NO!" Kanako was _pissed._ "You're not taking my oniisama from me!" She immediately drew ki energy into her hand, formed it into a ball... And aimed at Naru. Naru transformed, but she knew that she couldn't hold off that energy. She braced herself for the blast, knowing that in a second or two, she'd most likely be sprawled dead on the floor... Kanako fired, and as expected, the crackling thump of energy hitting flesh sounded throughout the bedroom. Keitaro's body fell to the floor, and it was extra-crispy. Kanako paled. "ONIISAMA!" Ronin gathered up the fallen Sailor Senpai. "Keitaro... you baka, why?" He smiled, despite his pain. "Because... it's you, Naru... it's the Promise." With that, Keitaro died. Naru's tears fell unbridled. Kanako fumed. "YOU! You killed oniisama!" Naru gently placed Keitaro's body on the bed and turned to Kanako. "You heartless bitch! He sacrificed himself to save my life, and you say I killed him?" Kanako's response was to fire another ball of energy at Ronin. Ronin dodged and pulled out the Hina Blade. "Please, Keitaro, hear me," she whispered, dodging more and more of Kanako's shots. "Help me seal away the evil..." She unsheathed the blade and drove it forward, eyes closed... and a grunt greeted her. Ronin cautiously pushed it forward... and found Kanako on the end of it. The rogue Urashima groaned. "So... oniisama wasn't meant for me..." She raised her hand, pulled the Hina Blade free from Ronin's hands, and ripped it out of her sternum. "Mistress, come to me! Grant me the power I need to take revenge upon this cockroach!" The Formless Black Mass arose. "Yes, my servant, the time is ripe. I'll enter your body, take it for my own, and then I can take the power of the Yakusoku for myself, and I'll create a new world with it - a world where men act noble, and women stand up for themselves, and I don't have to carry on the family legacy!" With that, the FBM entered Kanako's body through the hole in her chest, and the body collapsed, shuddering. Ronin just stared in shock. A few seconds later, Motoko arose in Kanako's body. "So, Narusegawa, you thought that by defeating Kanako, you could have the one that can control the Yakusoku's power. That's not enough! You must defeat me, and I can take far worse than she can! After all, I am the source of her power over demons - the powers which I gave her from the Shinmei School!" Ronin grabbed the Hina Blade and swung... but was blocked by Motoko's blade. The kendo girl grinned savagely. "That's not good enough, ronin!" She swung, opening a cut on Ronin's left cheek, and Ronin fell back, wincing in pain. _Keitaro, please, help me..._ Keitaro moaned. "What..." Both the kendo girl and Tuxedo Ronin blinked. "Nani?" Keitaro stood up. "I'm... I'm alive! But how..." He snapped his fingers. "Of course! Her tears healed me!" He turned to Motoko, who was now snarling and gnashing her teeth at him. "You..." He looked at Ronin, who nursed the cut on her cheek gently. "You... hurt... Naru." Motoko winced. "Todai Ronin Power, MAKE UP!" The reborn Sailor Senpai powerposed. "I fight for love! I fight for promises! I fight for passing grades! And I'll defeat you, for I am Sailor Senpai!" Motoko slashed at him, hoping to catch him off guard, but something white - a white aura - flared up around him, and Sailor Senpai's customary fuku suddenly disappeared, only to be replaced by a flowing white dress. Tuxedo Ronin stared in astonishment as her tuxedo disappeared and was magically replaced by armor and a sword. Keitaro-hime drew forth an automatic pencil. "It's time that I sent this evil back to where it came from!" Motoko slashed and swung at him, but all to no avail... Princess Ronin dove behind Keitaro-hime as he pointed his pencil towards Motoko. A huge flare of energy appeared behind him, and thousands of papers flew towards Motoko... "Super Exam Grade Heartbreak Special!" Motoko screamed and collapsed, exiting the body she inhabited and vanishing with a puff of air. Keitaro-hime caught one of the papers, and grinned. "A perfect score! We made it into Todai!" * * * * * Several days later... Naru and Keitaro sat out in the steps at Hinata-sou, hand in hand, and her in his lap. "Are you glad we finished the Yakusoku?" "Maybe." Naru's expression was that of someone who was thinking a lot... or someone who has way too much fiber in their diet. "How come we weren't able to tap into that power before, when we were fighting the Shironin?" Keitaro shrugged. "I guess we didn't need it then. It doesn't matter, though, does it?" Naru sighed. "I guess not. One other, thing, though - what happened to Kanako?" "Um... well, I couldn't just leave her to die," Keitaro said, expecting to be whacked. "But she _did_ deserve punishment for what she did..." "ONIISAMA!" "Uh-oh," Keitaro muttered. "We had better get out of here, and fast." The pair stood and started running away quickly. Kanako came up to the top of the stairs... but she was SD. That's right, chibi-Kanako. Eat your heart out, Walt Disney. However, the kawaii image was somewhat disrupted by the fact that she held a rather large double-bladed battle axe in her hands. "Oniisama, change me back _NOW_!" * * * * * * * * * * AUTHOR'S NOTES Hoo-boy, this was fun to write. However, it's kinda crappy, since it's 4:45 in the morning and I worked through the night on it. Give me a break, though, ne? Besides, I'm fueled by the power of fizzing blue Bawls (a wonderful drink from Thinkgeek), and I can last for days with it. Anyways, there are a few endings and omakes to go. next up is the one that Talon secretly longs for, and after that... well, sore was, himitsu desu. Ja ne, and I'll see you next week with the second ending! Tuxedo Jack May 14th, 2003 "And Jack said, 'Let there be cream eggs,' and there were, and they were tasty. And Jack was happy." (Cadbury 1:2-4)